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After Everything Is Said And Done

by Cheapshow

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1.
I've been talked down to my whole goddamn life and for some reason I thought that this might be different. But it ain't. You call me trash and unrefined. But that doesn't change the fact I can skate circles around this goddamn place. I want to know when what I am will be good enough. I am strong. I'm goddamn beautiful. I'm a fucking hurricane and this is the calm before the storm.
2.
I’ve been having that dream again. The one where I kick and scream but no one can hear me. And no matter whom I tell, they write it off as delusions of grandeur and they dope me up. And I can still see your face as clear as day, the day that I first met you. No one believes me and I’m sick and fucking tired of being told that I’m crazy. I’ve been thinkin’ that it’s time for me to fuck shit up before they come to kill me. The future’s not set. There’s no fate but for what we make for ourselves. So I put my faith in a paperclip tonight.
3.
It seems every so often, as I crack my spine, it’s like when a xenomorph explodes. I feel that acid in my bloodstream creepin’ through my veins to my old bones. And I remember summer. I remember being nineteen. I remember lyin’ in your bed and how it felt to fall in love for the first time. Now, I’m sitting at home alone; crackin' my bones to feel. And I’ve been meeting with people, trying to justify how my actions were appropriate under extreme situations and I never knew if I’d survive. But I’m still here breathing. I remember how it felt to be completely alone. And I remember being lost. I remember being cold. I remember how it feels to have fear rip through your bones. Because I’m (just) sittin’ at home alone; drinkin’ coffee to feel. I’m feelin' strung out 'cause I’ve been sweatin' through my sheets. First, you threw me to the wolves, but now you say you need my help ‘cause I can’t let them die like this. Just (fuckin’) sitting at home alone; doin’ anything to feel.

credits

released June 20, 2019

On this recording Cheapshow is:
Vincent Troia, Alex Errington, Jordan VonZynda, Cory Fuller

Recorded, Mixed, and Produced by:
Chuck Huber at Drifting Sun Sound

Mastered by:
Chris Dequick

Cover photo taken by:
Vincent Troia

license

all rights reserved

tags

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